It wasn’t just that I was leaving.
(For the 2:40 bus. For reasons thick in the air.
For reasons that lived beneath the house.
Forever this time)
It wasn’t just that he said it,
(It was the way he said it.
Standing in the doorway, his mouth a thin
clothesline, eyes like two bloodless sunsets
It wasn’t that I didn’t say it back
(Couldn’t soothe him one last time.
Wasn’t that girl anymore. Had a bus to catch. Away, away.)
It wasn’t that I didn’t,
(Though I had stopped breathing his name.
Stopped worshipping his mouth. Didn’t know yet I still had years
before I stopped dreaming in his voice)
It was the way he knew
I would not say it
(Knew I hated him
for his weakness. Knew his heart
disgusted me. Knew I had caught a butterfly
only to rub it with my hands. Remove the resin.
Leave it winged and without flight)
Dylan Massett is so insanely attractive.
Vera and Taissa Farmiga.
It’s like two of my favorite shows are, like, connected.